Three Lives of Me

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Kitten's Corner

Time To Be Teen

 

In about three months I will be 13 years old. Yes, a teenager. Who is also attending eighth grade this fall. WOW. To be honest earlier in the year I was excited to become a teenager and eighth grader. I thought about how fun it’ll be to be at the maturity age. How fun it will be to be the top dogs at school. But now that the time has come, I’m thinking about all of the responsibilities and expectations. I’m realizing that this whole time I was wrong. About it all. I found a quote that pretty much explains it all, “Maturity is not measured by age. It’s an attitude built by experience.”

 

For me being a teen was suppose to be hanging out at the mall with just my friends and I. Having a boyfriend and  getting anniversary gifts. Getting paid for babysitting, at home and other places. Trying out new things that made me happy. Getting together with a big group of friends and hanging out in the park. I’ve always dreamt of having a water fight. Walking to the ice cream shop after school with some friends. Going to the movies, going to Skyzone, maybe even just going to the library. I thought that turning thirteen meant that I go to do whatever I want to do because I am at the matured age to do so. I feel the same when it comes to the eighth grade. I get to help other people, I get to show them which place is which. I get to hangout with most of the same teachers. I get to see the same friends. The hard part will be the grades. I have to get deeper into algebra this year. I have more writings to do. I have a harder and more important tests. I also have to keep up with all of my work. I can't just forget about grades. It's another part of maturing.It doesn’t work that way. If it did most peoples lives including mine would be a lot easier. Except for the fact the world doesn't work that way. You can wish for things to happen, but the easiest way for it to come true is if you pursue it. If you work on it. That's something I plan on doing.

Just because I’ll be thirteen and in eighth grade, doesn’t mean I have the freedom to do whatever I want. My parents do a lot to let me show them that I am mature or are maturing. I take advantage of that because I want to know when they’re going to do it so I’ll be ready. Really it’s more of I’ll do this for this but blow it all the other times. That’s not fair.  It’d be like cheating life. You can’t get 100 on a test you know is coming then fail the pop quiz. That’s cheating life. It’s not just cheating life but it’s cheating yourself.  When I become mature enough to handle those things, then I’ll be ready.   I can’t cheat life, nobody should. It’s not showing proper maturity.   Being mature is a way to handle the fun responsibilities. I’d like to try it sometime soon.

 

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Green

The color green is the color of my everyday emotion. Why? It’s the color of jealousy.

There are plenty of people in the world who feel the same way and I understand why. You feel out of place. You feel as though you can’t cooperate with yourself, and it’s frustrating. You feel unloved and useless. You see all these other people on the streets who look like they are in control. You don’t feel in control and it hurts. It hurts bad and you want to fix it and fast.

You try to pretend, doesn’t work. Only makes it worse. Try to do better. Nope only works for a while, one slip you lose it all. The color green is everywhere. Sometimes it feels like it’s closing in. That’s when you run, you try to forget your cowardly moves and move on. As though nothing has happened. All those mistakes are becoming more ordinary that rare. They become more hazardous than microscopic. You can’t help it so you keep moving. You give up and continue on because you don’t want to believe that you could’ve been so stupid to ruin it all.

Except for the fact that YOU did.

No excuses this time just accountability. Take it, learn it, love it. Enjoy it. You have to get used to accepting mistakes before it’s too late you have to breathe it in. I know it’ll hurt, but it’s better than being more injured in the long run. You only get so many chances in a lifetime and you shouldn’t want to ruin them. You don’t do it intentionally but it’s still your fault. It’s still your mistake. You can’t fix the past, but by moving on from the jealousy, you can make a good future path. Jealousy is like a virus that comes through negativity, causing you to feel invisible. No one is invisible. The word invisible means, unable to be seen.

No one is transparent. Everyone is visible. Everyone is important, jealousy can make people feel as though they aren’t important. That’s what it does to me. I feel unlikeable. I felt as though I wouldn’t make it, but by the end of the day, I felt better. Jealousy is a reckless parasite. Jealousy could eat someone alive. When jealousy comes after someone it doesn’t stop at it’s own will. Jealousy is like an uncontrollable feeling that only goes away if it’s replaced with a different feeling.

A positive feeling.

The best way to create that positive feeling is to surround yourself with positive people. I once wrote a paper about whether Positivity, or Friendship was more important. You can’t be positive when you’re lonely. The green can consume people even when they are positive but the only way to win against it is to not give into it. Which is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Happy or not.

It can get complicated when you are trying to overcome such a negative feeling. What you have to do is keep fighting. The more you give up, the more it's welcome. The harder you fight the harder it falls. Jealousy only comes because you let it in. Don't let it in. Make a good choice. Make a good path for your future by fighting it. Don't give in to it because you can't fight anymore. You can always fight. That's how you win.

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Why Middle School Is Stressful

As a 12 year-old, almost 13 year-old, girl, it's really hard to keep up with the very simple things these days. Between my school responsibilities, relationships, at home responsibilities, then finding time to myself - it can get very stressful.

My Middle School responsibilities are to do my homework, get my assignment book signed before Wednesday and get my grade sheet signed and brought back to school on Tuesday. On top of that I have to read and take AR tests, then I have to study for Math tests every so often, study for History tests every week, and the most stressful time of year is around the time of my science test. When it’s time for my science test, I normally have a 100% in the class, then I move down to a 90 or so, I don’t usually fail science tests, but I never get 100% or higher either. When you have to keep the expectation of having straight A’s for a whole trimester, it can get complicated. Then with being in seventh grade, you have to keep up with the transformation of school work. Since I’m in advanced ELA, I have a lot more complicated things to keep up with than other seventh graders, and since we have a new assignment every week or so, you kind of have to take as much time as possible because the assignments can take more time than you’re given in class.

Trying to keep up with the relationships around me are one of the hardest things so far. With all my friends changing and with me changing, it’s not exactly a walk in the park. All my friends who are dating are split on how they are - some take it seriously and others treat it like a fifth grade dare. My parents don't want me to date yet because they want to make sure I pick the right person for me. My two friends have been dating since the sixth grade, and they take it seriously. They are nice to each other, loving. Every once in a while they give each other presents or letters. They’re really happy as well. Then there's my other friends who are dating one person one day then dating a different one the next. I don’t want to have a relationship like that because that’s just confusing for me as well as anyone else. I want a relationship that’ll last, that’ll mean something. I don’t just want to date someone because I’m bored.

Besides all of the at school responsibilities as an almost teenager, I have a decent list of at home responsibilities, too. I’ve been given a lot of responsibility because of my age and maturity level, when I’m actually a pretty silly person. But when it comes to responsibility I have to use impulse control to calm down and focus. When I was younger I was diagnosed with ADHD and I had very low impulse control, so low that I had to take medication every morning until impulse control became normal. I remember when I’d gotten off the medication it took a while before I got use to impulse control. After recess, I would pull my best friend by her shirt when she tried to beat me inside. I didn’t get in trouble until like the fifth time I did it because my teacher finally caught me. Luckily my impulse control is almost all the way under control, it’s enough for me to have an IPhone, my own room with a bathroom and be able to stay home alone. However, with the fun responsibilities comes the chores. The chores are the same everyday and they don’t change, they can’t be put off. What my parents don't know is that when I'm stressed, I’m slow or not focused. And I’ve been stressed ever since the beginning of the third trimester. The more I get added to my plate the slower I become the more forgetful and the more confused.

On top of all of those responsibilities my attempt to find time for myself are very limited. I am a big fan of TV, I like to watch a lot of it, and normally that’s what I do when I get a chance. Other times I’m writing, narratives, articles, poems whatever comes to my mind. I also like to read depending on the book. When I was reading "Mockingjay" I didn’t even think about TV. I was too intrigued on what was going to happen with Katniss to even think about watching any sort of television. Some kids say, “Sorry I forgot to do my homework I was watching TV.” my excuse was, “ I was reading.” I know it sounds lame but actually it was a super good book.

Between taking care of my responsibilities and finding time for myself, I always have to remember to calm down and think about what I’m doing before I start to forget what I’m doing or supposed to be doing. To all of the people who are going into Middle School, it’s not that it’s bad, it can just get frustrating. Remember that finding time for yourself is the most important thing to do when you feel stressed. So that when it’s time for you to add in something in your already busy schedule, you don’t do something drastic. Besides all of the drama that secretly floats around you, Middle School is actually pretty cool, at least at my school it is.

 

 

 

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Announcing Kitten's Corner!

I'm pleased to announce a new section of my blog - Kitten's Corner!

Starting tomorrow, my tween Kitten will be contributing to Three Lives of Me. She will selecting her own tween blog topics to discuss and from time to time will post any poems and other works that she has written.

A little about Kitten:

Age: 12

School: 7th Grade in Middle School

Favorite Book: Mockingjay

Favorite Treat: Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream (she gets this from her mom)

Favorite Song: Anything Disney

Favorite Artist: Disney Dudez

Favorite Thing to Do: Anything Social

Pet Peeve: Fake People

What Else Kitten Wants You to Know: My favorite color is purple, because it was the color of my great grandmother's old car. And I'm probably one of the most silliest people in the world.

I hope you take the time to stop by and check out what's happening in Kitten's Corner.

 

 

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