Three Lives of Me

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Featured My Saturday Self-Session 05.23

My Saturday Self-Session 05.23

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Ok – I am completely obsessed with the tiny house movement. I’ve yet to watch the documentary, but from what I've read I think it’s fascinating that people are actually not trying to keep up with the Jones’. That they are leaving the “bigger is better” way of life behind to live in smaller places, whether on land or on water. I’m not sure if there is a clear cut motive behind it like saving resources or money but the thought alone just astounds me.

When I was kid, bigger equated to status. And to obtain status you had to work and work hard. Of course, working hard is still true, but it seems that many are starting to work smarter. Instead of working tirelessly to pay bills day in and day out, they have found a way to enjoy life. They have stepped out of the box. They have limited their use of natural resources and eliminated their dependency on things that don’t have much value. They are living purposely.

They are fortunate individuals to me because, some of us are still trying to figure out our purpose. What drives us. What we want out of life. What we were meant to do.

Looking back on this week, I’ve learned I fall in the latter category. And that’s not all I’ve learned:

Go for it. I know it’s cliché but I have to do this…Life is too short. We don’t know when our time is up, so if there’s something that is tugging at you, pulling you in a different direction – let it. Don’t be afraid to take that leap into the unknown. You owe it to yourself to be happy. Find that thing that allows for that to happen. And then do it before it’s too late.

I did good. I don’t know what it is about mom guilt, but it always makes me doubt my parenting abilities. Am I teaching them the right things? Am I teaching the wrong things? Am I being there too much? Am I not there enough? Having one kid about to graduate has amplified these thoughts to the umpteenth degree. That same kid sent me a text message a few days ago just to say she has the best mom ever. It felt amazing to hear her point of view now that she is becoming a young adult.

Don’t go out of your way. I may not have worded this right, so let me explain. I love doing what I can for people. I don’t always have the opportunity to do so, but if I can I do try. However, there are those in my life that don’t deserve me trying. In my heart, I know I did what I could and that’s all I can do. I refuse to continue to feel hurt by their actions and I refuse to apologize for their actions done to me. I will work on forgiving them and move on from there.

It’s the little things. What do a tiny piece of bubble wrap, a dilly bar and a bible verse have in common? They were all small gifts that were given to me this week for no other reason than thoughtfulness. It’s so nice that friends take the time to say “I’m thinking of you.” Those little tokens go a long way, especially when you’re feeling a little troubled.

Push through. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been knocked down. It’s been so many that I’ve lost count. Some things were out of my control and some I was responsible for. But giving up was never an option for me. I struggled putting the pieces back together, but in true cat fashion, I figured out how to always land on my feet.

I may not be 100 percent where I’m destined to be, but I know I’m on the right path. It took a while to get here, but I’m proud to say I finally found it. The further I get though, the more I want it to have purpose. I want the things that I do going forward to have meaning.

Blogging has definitely helped with that. This feels right for me. But I don’t just want what’s right for me. I want what’s right for my family. And that purpose has yet to reveal itself. And I can’t wait until it does.

P.S. Secretly hoping it’s a boat on the ocean!

P.S.S. Husband would never go for it.