Three Lives of Me

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My Saturday Self-Session on Tuesday

I have been on the struggle bus (do they still say that) these past few weeks.

With the kids out of school, graduation activities and life in general, I have not been able to set time aside to blog, let alone reflect. I need more hours in the day. Fortunately, there is a light at the end of the tunnel - the boy has started sleeping longer at night! #winning.

Yet somehow, getting a little extra sleep is making me feel more like a zombie. How is that even possible?

Did I mention that it has been raining almost non-stop for the past couple of weeks? It's annoying. Occasionally, I do like the rain. Like when you just need a day to stay in, but you don't really have a good reason to but. Every. Single. Day. I'm over it. I need some sunshine! I need warmth! I need to send my kids outside longer than 10 minutes!

Ok, now that I've gotten that all out.

This past week I've been thinking about my best pal who is heading on a mission trip in the next few days. I think it's amazing that she has volunteered her time and will be volunteering her energy to build playground equipment for a group of school girls. It warms my heart that people do these types of missions everyday. They put so much of themselves out there for someone they've never even met. I love that. Knowing that these people exist makes me feel better about my children's future, even when I know there are some not so good people out there.

Thinking about her and where she's come in the past year is the perfect example of that saying, "God make me so uncomfortable that I will do the very thing I fear." (Ruby Dee) She's taken some big risks to be happy. She's so happy that you can actually see her beaming. Things came together for her and then this opportunity came along. It's like she gets to pay it forward by bringing some positive into these children's lives.

Looking back on my own life, I don't remember a time that a perfect stranger did something for me just because (and I'm talking in a sense of not being in need of anything). You hear stories about it all the time - someone bought an extra coffee, picked up the dinner tab or even bought groceries. It wasn't a special time of year, either. It was just done. Then I came across Erica of Coming Up Roses. I just happened to comment about how one day I would love for someone to randomly buy me ice cream. And she did. From Philadelphia. Cool, right?!

I've wanted to be the person that helps the other person out. I've yet to do it.

Like with everything else, I think I'm making it bigger than it seems.

Start Small. Some are good with tackling big projects head on. I am not that person. The bigger the issue/project is, the more it intimidates me. The more it intimidates me, the longer I put it off. It's ok to break things down and focus on the smaller scale.

It Doesn't Have to be Pinterest Worthy. Anyone else have this issue? Oh my goodness. It's not just school snacks. It's home. It's kids. It's life. It's that wedding I should have had (thanks a lot, Pinterest). People appreciate effort. At least I do. Being thought of is better than not being thought of at all.

Not Everything is about Money. Tell my bank account that. But, in this case, it doesn't require money. Although, I would love to be able to be in the position to drop $100 to the person behind me in the grocery store, I can't. There are things I could do, like make cookies or muffins and give them to someone. (Then, getting them out of the house untouched would be the next issue, but that's another story).

Who? And Where? It's not a job. I don't need to place an ad, "Desperately Seeking Someone to Pay it Forward to." I just need to do it. The point is to brighten someone's day. Obviously, they are not going to be wearing a sign. Even though it would help. #ikid

Be Genuine. I don't want this to come off as a task that I need to complete. I want it to come from my heart. I want that person to know that I cared. That I took the time out to do something just for them. Again, just because.

They say, "It's better than to give, than receive." And I can't wait to be able to pay it forward on a large scale someday. Of course, not Oprah scale (You get a car, you get a car, you get a car!), but on a I can pick up your family's dinner for the evening type scale. However, in the meantime I'm going to stop overthinking and get creative so I can pay it forward on the what I can do now scale.


P.S. A HUGE thank you to Erica of Coming Up Roses! How very thoughtful of you! I enjoyed my mint chocolate chip ice cream. Thanks for brightening my day! :)

P.S.S. To my best pal - SO PROUD of you! I'm loving how things are changing for you. Keep doing those things you fear. Everything will be fine. Continue to trust in Him. Love you!